Lies and Uncertainties
by chaserglow
Summary: One night, after losing his memories of having been Kira, Light has an interesting discussion with L that results in the insomniac detective being more honest than he's ever been before in his life. Mild language. LxLight. L-centric.


**Summary: **One night, after losing his memories of having been Kira, Light has an interesting discussion with L that results in the insomniac detective being more honest than he's ever been before in his life. Mild language. LxLight.

**Disclaimer: **Death Note is not mine.

* * *

"Light-kun? Could you pass me those files?"

No response.

"Light-kun? The files?" L prompted. The chain prevented him from turning around to grab the damn files himself.

L finally twisted his neck around to see what Light was doing: nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"What are you staring at, Light-kun?" L asked, somewhat annoyed.

Suddenly, Light blinked and focused his attention. "Sorry, Ryuzaki," he said, "What did you want?"

"The files," L replied, gesturing as he turned back around.

After a moment, he felt the stack of papers fall into his outstretched hand. As he made to look through them, L was suddenly aware that Light was speaking.

"Actually, Ryuzaki…" he was saying.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L replied politely, though he wasn't really paying attention.

"I was wondering…"

L vaguely registered in the back of his mind that Light sounded uncharacteristically tense, but he had too much work to do to give it any thought.

"Why is it that you want me to be Kira?"

Well.

"I want Light-kun to be Kira…because I don't want to be wrong," L lied automatically, "I am childish, and I hate to lose."

L's words weren't actually a lie, per se, but the implications were.

A few moments later, Light slowly stood up and made his way around to L's other side. He sat himself down across from L and looked into the insomniac's wide eyes, while narrowing his own.

"Isn't that what you imagine Kira to be like?" Light asked angrily, "Aren't you just like him?"

"…Yes," L said, not even bothering to look at Light; he hoped to convey the message that he was quite busy and that Light should shut up now.

"Ryuzaki…" Light said.

When L glanced up to give Light short, pointed stare, he received an unexpected punch and, caught off guard, was thrown to the floor.

"You accuse me of being Kira," Light said, glowering down at L, "but you're more like Kira than I am!"

L rubbed the side of his face – that punch had really hurt.

Standing up, L said quietly, "When will you learn?" before swiftly thrusting his foot forward into Light's cheek.

Now it was Light who was on the ground and L who was looking down at him, triumphant.

"I wonder why it's Light-kun who always throws the first punch?" L pondered, as Light stood up.

"Because," Light replied, matter-of-factly, "you always give me a reason to punch you," and proceeded to do so – again.

Usually, after both L and Light had had their fair share of hits, there would be someone to put an end to their nonsense fighting. However, it was now well into the night, and everyone had already gone home to their families. L and Light were alone. And so, the two young men duked it out until they were both lying, breathless, on the floor.

"Are you satisfied now? Eh, Light-kun?" L asked between gasps for breath.

Light stood up, wincing slightly. "No," he replied, "I'm not."

"Light-kun," L said, after having been forced by the chain to stand up as well, "the chance that you are Kira has gone up two percent, I hope you know."

"Would you just give it a rest, Ryuzaki?" Light snapped impatiently.

L, surprisingly, fell silent (aside from the occasional murmur), but he continued to stare at Light interestedly, biting his thumbnail as he always did when contemplating something.

L was, in fact, contemplating Light. Not merely Light's current actions, either, but Light as a whole. L wondered why he had so many questions regarding this one human being. Some of them were Kira related, but most of them were not. L speculated, mostly, about the power that Light wielded and how much of it was wielded on himself. Never before had anyone intrigued or confused L so much.

Wordlessly, the two geniuses stood up and made their way to their respective computers. They worked for quite some time, neither one daring to speak, before L finally broke the silence. There was something L wanted to say – something he knew he shouldn't – that had been gnawing at the back of his mind for the past forty-five minutes. And, finally, L gave in to it, if only to be able to get back to work with full concentration.

"Actually, Light-kun…" L said, "I lied to you."

"Well, obviously," Light replied, with an air of mockery, "But, what about, specifically, this time?"

"About why I want Light-kun to be Kira."

"Oh?"

"Yes. The truth is, I want you to be Kira because that would give me an easy excuse to classify you, to make sense out of you. I want to be able to sort you into a category and be done with it. I want to understand you, to be able to justify you – your actions and thoughts and persona. I want comprehension." By now, L was just saying the half-formed sentences that his whim told him to, which wasn't something he commonly practiced.

When Light didn't respond, L asked, "Are you content with that?"

Light sighed. "No," he said, "but it doesn't matter, does it? I'll prove to you that I'm not Kira by catching the real one, and that will be that."

L sighed inwardly, wishing it that it could really be as simple as that. But then, he thought, why couldn't it be? However, shortly after considering this, reason caught up with L's wishful thinking. This situation was not a simple one. Light wasn't not Kira, just because he wasn't at that precise moment…right? Too tired to work out what that meant (he had been running on approximately two and a half hours of sleep for the past six days), L let this thought go and replaced it with a new one.

A better one.

"Light-kun?" he said.

"Yes, Ryuzaki?" Light replied, turning to face the detective.

And, when Light did so, L pressed his lips against the younger man's, not quite sure himself as to why. Light, completely caught off guard, let his mouth hang open in shock, and L took advantage of this.

After a moment, Light pushed L away – still looking stunned – and L willingly stood back.

"What was that?" Light demanded.

"That, Light-kun," L said, looking amused, "is what they call a 'kiss.' It—"

"I know what it is, Ryuzaki," Light interjected, irritated, "but I want to know why you gave one to me."

L merely shrugged and thrust his hands into his pockets. In truth, he didn't have an answer – not an answer that Light would have appreciated, anyway. Really, the reason behind L's exploit was simply that it seemed like an interesting thing to do. And L was not disappointed.

Apparently giving up on trying to rationalize the other man's peculiar actions, Light turned back to his computer, but L was tremendously aware that Light wasn't making the motions to do anything at it.

"Light-kun," L finally said, "why aren't you working? We have lots to do before tomorrow, you know."

Without warning, Light suddenly banged his fist on the table, looking as if that had been the last straw.

"I don't understand," Light said, through gritted teeth, "how you expect me to get anything done after…that."

"Why not?" L asked, honestly curious, as he took a sip of heavily sugared coffee.

"I'm finding it difficult to concentrate," Light said, with the air of someone trying to explain physics to a child.

"Are you, now, Light-kun? Well, that's not my fault. Maybe you should see a doc—"

But Light cut L off, mid-sentence, with a straight-forward, "Shut up, Ryuzaki," before leaning into the older man, bringing their lips together.

L, although surprised, reacted immediately. He vigorously placed his hands on Light's shoulders and parted his lips to allow for entry.

After what felt like ages, Light pulled back from L, but, this time, he was smirking.

"Now, then," Light said, as if to close the matter. He then returned to his computer and began typing away.

For a moment afterwards, L felt like he understood Light perfectly.


End file.
